This girl is going bald at 40.
It's embarrassing and very difficult to accept. For over a decade now, I have known my hair was thinning. This is not your normal kind of hair loss, it is much more dramatic then that. This past year, I have hidden my missing locks within a sea of hair extensions. I really loved the hair I had this past year! Strangers would often stop me in the store, or grab my attention at an event, just to tell me how beautiful my hair was. Heck, I've even had grown men yell grab my attention driving down the street! It is amazing what a head of hair can do for your confidence!
Over past few months it became more and more difficult to hide the beads holding the pieces in my hair. I started to see my scalp more as the light from the sun would hit my head. Then I got our wedding pictures back. I can see my scalp in many photos, but none as obvious as when I was bent over signing my marriage license! The bald spot on my head was glaring! I knew that I had to take the long locks out of my hair but wanted to wait until after my birthday. I knew that there would be many photos taken of me this day and there is a certain security that comes with a full head of hear. Now that I finally have them out, my hair is much worse then I imagined. Not only in my hair thinning, but the rest of it was mangled and choppy.
I have spent the better part of today researching online information about female hair loss. This is not something that runs in my family. I've spoken to doctor's about it and if it isn't your thyroid or hereditary then they don't know what it is. As long as you're not completely bald, they tell you not to worry about it. Why is hair so important? Well, here are a couple of articles that explain it better then I could:
Sociological study examines the importance of hair - Arizona State University
(top of my head - obvious hair loss, and grey hairs! lol Gotta do something about that! Ha!)
It's what people see. Your hair identifies you.
I am not saying short hair isn't cute, sexy or great! Having no hair though, that's not really something I've liked thinking about. That is the road I am on. I imagine sooner then later, I will have no hair. It seems so surreal to me.
Really, I've read over and over again that the abnormality of losing your hair this early on and being female usually means that there is something else wrong, something is being overlooked and your body is trying to tell you something. This is what really worries me. Hopefully someone can help me figure out WHY this is happening and help me fix the cause, not just the effect.
Sure, I will go find a great dermatologist and oncologist and spend hundreds, maybe even thousands. I am sure I will use some products to help my hair grow back in and other products in an attempt to hide my scalp. But having my hair cut recently was an act in reminding myself - it's ok.
It's ok if all of it disappears. My hair, or lack there of, may be a part of my identity but it DOESN'T DEFINE me. There is so much more to me then this mop on my head. I have so much to offer this world and it's up to me to either allow myself to sink into a sea of despair or rise above it and become more.
I write this knowing that I am not the only woman in this world affected by dramatic hair loss. I want you to know you are not alone. When times are tough, lift your head high, walk with confidence, allow joy to fill your laughter and let love radiate from your soul. You will be looked upon with admiration and respect. You will be an inspiration to others and bring happiness to all around you. You are strong, bold and worthy of great things.
<-----Me, just 3 years ago!
Me today ----->
PS - Thank you Peter Scaglione (Peter's Place for Hair, Birmingham) for helping me feel ok and looking great in my new hair do! I appreciate you so much!